Life has been difficult as of late. Not just the past few months, but the past week specifically. And it sucks, cause, I can't really talk about it much. Even now I'm finding it difficult to find words to clear my head.
I've spent a lot of time with friends and family lately. I've remained open about disliking living alone and they've all done well in keeping me company, or at least talking to me when hanging out isn't possible. And it's comforting. Like most, I feel bad about needing the attention. I'm used to having dogs and a girlfriend at home, with just noise all around. Even if I'm woken up by barking, its a reminder the pups are around... Like I said, I feel bad about it, but they don't seem to mind. And another thing has kinda come about this I did not expect...
The more I'm open about life kinda sucking, the more other people are opening up. I don't know what it is, maybe its because I'm more vulnerable, they feel they can too; I don't know. But I have had more serious heart to hearts with several of my guy friends than I have in years. Maybe its just life sucks right now, for everyone. That's a depressing thought, ain't it?
But many people have opened up who have been relatively closed off before. We've been able to talk more and just unapologetically agree that "this part of my life sucks right now" and sit there and cheers over a beer.
Now, some of this stuff I know I just need to get through - I need to find a routine at the gym and stop just going here and there. Something I can stick to and prioritize. I am going to start regular over night stays at my mothers to keep her company and see my dogs. I need to start going to bed earlier, not rushing my mornings and being only half mentally available at work. I need to start writing regularly. My books and stories keep me sane and happy, or insane and happy... But either way, I'll be mentally clear-er.
I have a bit more I can't say to the public, but I sent it to someone via Google Hangouts, and accidentally vented that way. It helped my frustration a bit.
Cheers you goons. I appreciate your patience and support while I go through whatever these few months are.
