Drave the Cowboy - Part 1.

This is the first part of three. I think three... Maybe four. Depends on how I feel it is going.
Please let me know what you think via FB, Gmail, or just comment. I want to know whether or not people enjoyed it.

             Quick shout out to my friend Amanda, who I send most of my stories to first. She always has some type of feedback for me and reminds me and encourages me to finish the stories. You are awesome.

“My name is Drave. I am a demon hunter. My profession has blessed me with nicknames like Grave or Raven depending on what part of the world I am in. I have done this a long time and have killed many demons, spirits, ghosts, and other things that hide in your closet during bedtime. Some of those things hold grudges, and just like you and me, they talk. They know who I am and I am slowly becoming the hunted. Least, that’s how it was heading, until tonight. Tonight I retire.

                I always carry three revolvers with me. Eighteen shots. I’ve only ever needed more once. Tonight will be no different. A revolver in each holster and the third in the back of my jeans. All three guns and ammo have been blessed by a nun or monk. The one in back holds special bullets, silver bullets. The other twelve shots are just lead with crosses etched in them. Cheaper that way.

                I am protected by my long coat, which is layered with steel slabs ringed together. My collared shirt also has a layer of steel chain, though most demons cut right through it. Trust me, I have the scars. But tonight that will change. Again, after tonight, I retire.

                See over there just across the way? The moon’s glow and the sunset’s light will touch there, and a magical door will appear. A door no one should ever enter. But I will. It only happens when the moon is full on the 15^th of February. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know. Probably some long past reason. Doesn’t make it any less true and any less dangerous.

                After tonight I retire from hunting, and I shall no longer be hunted. That is a time I look forward to. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, though, because I know you don’t care. You are like everyone else in the bar behind me, but I appreciate you listening… How old are you again?”

The little blonde boy shook his hair out of his eyes petting his brown puppy, “Seven.” He said smiling bringing up his fingers to match the word, “I’m Zane, this is Marcus, and you’re Drave the cowboy.” Zane said pointing at Drave’s hat lying next to them. The puppy rolled off his master and pounced into the dirt road. Zane squealed with joy and chased after him.

                Drave looked at his black hiking boots, faded gray jeans, belt buckle, collared shirt, coat, and hat, “I suppose your right.” He said to himself, “Drave the cowboy, haven’t heard that one before.” He took a swig of his whiskey bottle he kept in his coat’s pocket. He donned on his hat and stood as Zane’s mother called out to the boy. Zane and his puppy Marcus ran toward the calling.

“You’re the reason I’ve done this for so long.”

Drave took another swig of his bottle, set it down on the steps of the bar. He stood and slowly walked toward the sunset.

What a way to start the year.

So I've always believed in appreciating everything about every day. It allows me to smell the roses, and, after publicly stating (aka, FB post) I enjoy things, people tend to remind me how lucky I am. I planned on re-posting my days on here, but I am kinda assuming that if you read my blog, you have me on Facebook. That being said, this past week has been full to the brink, the weekend even more so. And I got in a full dose of family, new friends, and old friends.

Now, I have actually been sent messages of concern because of the last bit on my latest post that I did. Other... Things have transpired in my life recently that has kept me down secretly, but you will probably never know those unless something big happens... And I appreciate the concerns, and, to those who have asked, I have told. Furthermore, rest assured that that fear has gone away.

Now, if you have been reading my blog since my posts about friends, you will understand this completely. If you haven't, I suggest you take the time to read it because this post won't make too much sense without it. Here is your bookmark.

.......

K. So, as you know, I have had this dilemma as to whether or not let friends go. Length of time over quality of friendship. Just to take them off the best friend mentality pedestal and leave them be. Just try to forget them as they have obviously shown we aren't as close as we once were. This constantly bothers me, and I fear that me trying to stay within their lives is just desperate. That "low point" in my previous post, kind set that in stone for me (no matter how temporary.)

I had a concerned friend talk to me about an invitation, well, lack of one. They had been told by Donna and Daniel that I wasn't invited (my name specifically) to their New Years party. Being a friend that they were to me, and knowing Daniel's and my relationship, brought it up to me. I was surprised as they (the friend) were, and my mind reeled at what I could have done to not be invited.

Being Daniel's and Donna's friend for so long, I could only think that it was A) I was their only single friend, and B) my posts about friendship bothered them. They had never brought up these reasons of concern to me, but those two reasons were the only ones that seemed logical.

Anyway, it wasn't either of those reasons. And the actual reason (which won't be posted here) was a pretty serious one that I had taken as a joke for a long time. I am still a little upset that Daniel couldn't come to me with the actual issue in the first place, but I digress.

And, because we don't express ourselves well in person. I am sorry Donna.

Back on topic - During that New year's Eve party, Daniel proposed to Donna.

Needless to say, I was upset. For more than one reason.

Saturday, Daniel texts me:
D:"You busy Monday?"
B:"No, why what's up?"
D:"Goda talk"
B:"I'm guessing it's important"
D:"Yeah, kinda. Bosa at 9am?"
B:"Sure."

At this point, I am thinking that it is time to either hear an apology from someone who I've never known to apologize, or to start an argument and officially lose a best friend forever. Honestly, I prepared for the latter. I hadn't said some nice stuff about him, and he surely didn't seem to want me around for important events in his life.

We get there, we don't hug, which we normally do, and sit down. We catch up a little bit on our lives, him recounting my posts of my super busy weekend and him having less of a busy one. We talk about the actual reason behind the lack of invitation. His feelings toward his engagement and what happened that night at the party. We also talk about Will and how it has been a year, but doesn't really feel like it. Then I ask him the big question.

"What is this about."

He then proceeds to say that Donna asked to be there when he told me, and that she gets on lunch soon. I didn't really like this idea, because Daniel and I can be straight up and honest with each other if things got bad. But with Donna there.. Well, we have an audience. And we act different around audiences. He's sarcastic and pretends not to care about anything, his way of showing he's strong. And I? I remain collected, calm, and pretend everything was expected. My way of showing I'm strong. We completely shut are emotions away, and always say stuff we don't mean. So audiences tend to make matters worse in my opinion. But, it IS his fiance, and maybe she wanted to say something too.

We head over to the Wendy's near her work, we get their, Donna orders, and we sit down. Daniel recounts the engagement, and their different options in planning the wedding. So I look at them again, and say, "What is this all about?" To be honest, at that point, I was just waiting for them to say something along the lines of 'We don't want you at the wedding.' Which would have hurt, but always prepare for the worst.

Daniel then goes, "If things go the way we really want them to go, I don't think you being just the best man would be appropriate for what we've been through. Instead, Donna and I talked about it, and I, we, would like you to marry us."

My eyes go big, mouth falls. Then him and I start to laugh. See, Daniel and I used to watch a LOT of FRIENDS growing up. And in the show, when Chandler gets married, he has his best friend Joey marry them, and Ross, another best friend, is Chandler's best man. This scene goes through both of our heads, and Daniel goes, "I would have had Will be my best man if he was here." and I understood.
I then turn to Donna, who I always get mixed signals from, and ask, "Are you OK with this?"
she looks down at her burger, looks up, smiles, and says "It was my idea. We want someone who we've known us the longest and we care about."

My heart melted. They are back on their pedestals for me, that's for sure.

Without Will there, Daniel says I may be the best man and ordained minister. Details still need to be hashed out. For example, He may just have me be the best man if they choose to go somewhere that requires their own pastor, but I don't think that will be the case. Also, he may have another one of his friends be the best man if for some reason having one less groomsman on one side becomes an issue.

That was my Monday. How was yours?

 ~Just a thought.


I'm sure all of u know by now how good it is to have friends. Something Ive learned is to never think your friends are just there to pass the time. You have friends for a reason, and as long as u have friends u will always have someone to talk to, someone who will listen to you, someone who will be by your side when your need is at its most. I’ve come to realize that one of the best feelings in the world is to know your friends will stand by your side and stay there no matter how hard of road you take them on. No matter what journey lies ahead of u it's always good to know that you can rely on someones shoulder to be there for you if your first attempts lead you into the dirt. Don't think bigger numbers makes better friends, always have time to make that friend, that best friend, that friend who will stay with you forever and always. 
-Daniel-

Dance like no one is watching.

So, I have been reminiscing about the past and the future recently, well, tonight more or less. And quite frankly I am very, very surprised how much I have changed. I mean, everyone changes but no one notices really. My acquaintance Ali once told me a quote, "day to day nothing changes, but in a blink of an eye it's all different." And I guess I blinked. Though I still feel like I'm the traditional good guy, and I know I am still loud and outspoken, many things have changed about me. I have added more to my to-do list of 2012, but it isn't a resolution per se, just promises to myself. (If you see those as any different, I do.)

Side-step with me for a minute to one of my resolution's. Getting in shape. a million people have this goal, very, very few will accomplish it. And I think the reason is because they don't have a motivation to. I mean husbands do it for their wives, and vise versa, but what does the spouse replies when they fail, "I love you just the way you are." Which is true (hopefully) but he/she doesn't recognize that that hurts the person trying to get in shape. They aren't really doing it for their spouse, they are doing it for themselves, they just don't want to fail on their own... Single people do it to look better for the opposite (or same) sex... But that isn't a "person" and so when men/women are fawning on you the instant you walk out of the gym, it's kinda doomed to failure, in my opinion anyway.
With that being said, I think I found a reason to keep me motivated, and it is because I want to dance and sing.

Dancing: People who are in shape look better in nice clothes and while dancing, plain and simple. Not to mention it actually takes some foot work and movement. I have been dancing that Grahams on and off for a while, and I think I am going to start going more often and asking random girls to dance and practice with me. I'm not terribly good yet, but I want to be. I used to think dancing was very intimate, mainly because Homecoming, Winter formal, and Prom all basically require dates to have fun, and there isn't really a time where your guy friend takes your girlfriend to the dance floor. Just didn't happen. The only time I ever danced with a girl who wasn't my girlfriend before Grahams was at my brothers wedding. I danced with my sister, and I danced with my sister-in-law. Anyway, my views have recently changed. Dancing is dancing. A fun activity to do with one other person, sometimes it is intimate, other times it's not. On a Thursday a couple weeks ago I was learning the Cha-Cha and I danced with like... 15 different ladies and women, some far better than me, others notsomuch. It was done for practice with other people, and by the time I got back around to my partner (Ashley) we had a grasp of what we were doing. And it is FUN.

Singing: I am now a regular at Tilted Kilt... I know all of the other regulars, all of the night hostesses, servers, bouncers, busboys, bartenders, managers, and one of the cooks. So well, in fact, we've all added each other on Facebook and have had occasions where we've hung out outside of Facebook. Just a nice community-type family that supports each other. A lot of nights like tonight we get our server Amber, we didn't sit in her section, but she "stole" us from the other server because we are her regulars (Makes us feel special.) Now, before I was invited to Tilted Kilt, I didn't like karaoke. I couldn't sing, thought it was too loud, annoying, and there for stupid drunks. Again my thoughts have changed on that matter. I absolutely love karaoke night. It is the one night I will always go and every night I look forward to. I want to continue doing that for as long as TK has Mike as the karaoke DJ. I like my booming voice, I like working on my country voice, I like the games involved and being forced to sing songs out of my comfort zone.

Coincidentally, this kinda leads into my original point, I've changed. This time last year, I wasn't singing and I wasn't dancing. I was happy in some ways and others I wasn't. I craved friendship that I didn't really have with some people. I no longer have that desire with those people. I've matured, but only to a certain extent. I've grown spiritually and my ideas and values, and though most are within the gray area, they are marked for me to understand.

I am a regular at TK, but Sam, the manager, was talking to me tonight and some of the regulars she/we know have been going there every Sunday for the past three years since the place opened. I have only been going for... four months maybe? It's crazy to think that it has only been that long. I can not wait till she can say that about me three years down the line.
It's an adventure I look forward to.

~Just a thought.
It seems that day to day, nothing changes. But in a blink of an eye, it's all different - Ali.

It starts.

I'm not sure how to begin this post... I clearly haven't posted in a long time. I have written quite a bit, but I feel they are too personal for anyone to understand. Furthermore, some are attacking other people. That I don't want to do.

So, 2011 has finished up. And as Isaac has said. Fuck you 2011, I won't miss you but I'll never forget you.

To make it brief and done with, my New Years Resolution are as follows, and are the same as every other person out there:
Eat better.
Lose weight.
Budget.

I plan to start dieting again. Giving it another go around. For the past... month and a half, I haven't been going to the gym or dieting at ALL. "A way to save money" I tell myself. And, on the brighter side of things, I have been busy with the Tilted Kilt and spending time with some other friends. But, I am gonna cut off spending money on food there, as they are a restaurant and I am broke for the time being I can't afford that place. I am gonna try and cut back on soda intake to zero (I had three Cokes tonight, a Christmas gift) and then cut out fast food except for Soup and Roasted chicken from Subway, that's not too bad right?

Since I am no longer obligated to either Aaron or Jake, they have different routines now, I am going to try and go right after work. Not a lot of people are there, the machines will be open and it will be a nice, quick, workout. Get out of there in 30 min to an hour. I am also going to try and get a workout with a fitness trainer, which I have yet to do because I am lazy and bothered that they will try and sell me crap I don't need.

To go along with this diet and exercise plan, I plan on consuming more protein with shakes and whatnot to hopefully build more muscle mass, which in turn will burn the fat. I also plan on digesting more and more vitamins, to keep my body happy. I think my blood pressure is on the rise again, which I need to nip in the bud quickly. I'm not super super pumped like I usually am while writing this, so at least in my head it is a real goal I want to achieve.

Other... Things have transpired in my life recently that has kept me down secretly, but you will probably never know those unless something big happens.

Anyway, hopefully this will inspire me to be inspired to write more, but maybe not.

Till then, everyone have a great beginning to 2012, start it off right and maybe it will end right.
~Just a thought.

I can go the distance

So, if you read this post previously, I moved that over to my health and wellness blog here. To be honest it is just so I have an update there too.

I received a phone call the other day from a woman looking for computer help. A good friend of mine recommended her to me. It was a good feeling receiving that phone call. I haven't done computer work in a long while. I had a little bit after my birthday, but with moving and other aspects of my life taking priority, I just gave the computers back without looking at them. I should give him a buzz and see if they still need looked at.

I am excited to announce that I will be starting school sometime soon. Hopefully this year (2012) or next year, depending on if I can get my forms submitted correctly. The company TDS that acquired OneNeck (my work) gives a substantial amount of tuition reimbursement to employees who go to school. I was already looking, but it gave me the right motivation to hurry it up and submit the forms necessary.

To assist in my education, I started watching the CBTNuggets I have talked about in previous posts. They are corny and kinda boring, but they are very educational if you pay attention. I am glad I suffered through one and a half videos, because that means I know I can do it again on Sunday.

My long work day(s) that I had to do is done and done. It was interesting, though I was dead tired by the end of it. I got to meet a couple people who I have talked to multiple times in the past, but never met face to face. That was interesting. I always have this small fear that they won't like me upon first meet... After all, I am the dick who's always waking their ass up with problems in the night! But, so far, all have been friendly, and I am reminded that they know it is their job to get woken up, that is what being an on-call is. The one very interesting meet was a guy named Rob Rorke, who works through VPN off the east coast. He's worked for the company for 5 years and has only been at the Home office three times! Orientation, training, and this second orientation. Crazy! On a side note, I've woken his ass up too...

Tonight, after my CBTNugget, I watched The Warriors Way... Though it appeared to be a B movie, I thoroughly enjoyed the heck out of that movie. Even to the point I actually wrote a review with 5 stars. I thought it was excellent and recommend it to anyone. Be Warned, one of my favorite movies is The Watchmen. And I recommend that too.

~Just a thought
There is no substitute for winning, I posses the discipline and the will to make winning a reality." - Dish Network poster board.

America, Jack, and Morgan.

I sit here at 1AM on a Saturday night, wanting to go to sleep, but can't, because I work Sunday night and I need to get back into 3rd shift mode. I am curious as to what this lack of sleep schedule does to my body....

Anyway, instead of writing, reviewing, and editing my words over a day or two, I think this one is going to be just a quick fun-doodle. So if there are any typo's or something that doesn't make MUCH sense, I don't care nor do I apologize. MOVING ON.

>I'm sober, just tired.

These two weeks have been fun ones. I got to go hang out with some old friends at DISH, drank beer and played some pool. They brought along other friends that we all hung out with. I guess Artie mentioned I know a lot of hot girls (which I do) and said I'd bring them (which he didn't, nor would I). Side note - he's met Becka, who is good looking and interesting to boot, and I texted him once saying that I was with a few girls who were looking for a party, so I guess he assumed I'd bring chicks??
Anyway, his friends give me a hard time about NOT asking my chick-friends to come hang out and it irked me pretty good. I am protective of my chick friends, sometimes overly so. To me, it seemed that they wanted me to play match maker and hook them up with a chick. The fact that they even gave me a hard time told me not to invite any. Fuck them.
I decided to mess with them a bit and showed them my texting list on my phone, which went, Brenda, Didi, Ashley, Kelli, Becka, Tiffany, Nicole, Vicky, and Hope. They asked me to invite them out, which I didn't and told them that my guy friends (referring to them) are pigs and I wouldn't want them around them. I said it in a joking fashion, but I meant it.
Bryan went out for a smoke, I went with him to get some fresh/smokey air and he asked if I saw him that way. I told him I didn't really, but the rest of them can shove it. He laughed and we went back inside. The rest of the night was alright, played pool, got my ass kicked. Bar hopped over to another and watched my new friends try to pick up this chick. It was rather amusing. She got onto her soapbox and talked about politics and the whole 99% bull that I don't really pay attention to. It was funny watching them pretend to pay attention and failing to be as smart as she was. I was hit on by this semi-decent looking girl. I thought about pursuing just for fun that night, but turned away, I just wasn't interested.

Nothing has really broken at work recently, which is good I guess, but keeps the days rather slow. Since I had so much time I wrote a 5 page document on security procedures during 3rd shift since we don't have any documented at this time. It was submitted to our Director for approval.

I cooked Chicken Alfredo this past week, twas delicious. I ended up inviting Didi and Ashley over to join me. They enjoyed it. They said that they will have to cook their enchilada's for me as a thank you. We hung out for a little longer after, but they went home and I readied for work.

Speaking of Ashley, her and I got to hang out one-on-one for the first time in... Well, probably forever. We've been friends since high school, but I dated Didi (her older sister for those who don't know them) so whenever Ashley and I would hang out, Didi was there too. Anyway, she needed a ride to a car dealership for a car, and so I gave her a ride and we looked at a few. She fell in love with the Colbolt they had there but at the end she declined. I gave her a ride to work the next day since she was sans car, and also picked her up. We went to Oregano's for dinner and it was YUMs. Also gave her a ride to Glendale the following day to look at a couple more, she declined their too.

During our dinner, I got a text from my friend Alicia inviting me out for drinks. I said I could go out, but couldn't drink due to working. We texted back and forth and settled on Thursday, I promised her that I'd order a beer, but nothing more, because I had to work that night as well. When Thursday came around, she texted me saying it was moved to Friday. Friday comes around and our friends who were supposed to come out declined, but her, her boyfriend Elvis, and their friend Russel joined us at a bar I can't remember the name of. I had two beers, and then they wanted to call it a night. So I drove home.

On the way home, Didi texted me asking if she could come over cause she had just had a fight with her roommate and needed space, I said sure, but I wasn't there yet. She ended up beating me there, and when I got there I opened up another beer, looking to get a little tipsy.. I play DD a lot with friends, which I don't mind at ALL, but I had an expectation to be drinking a little more than I ought to, and I was damn well gonna do it.

So I pour myself a rum and coke and open a beer (never do that btw, awful combination). I offered Didi a drink, she declined, but ended up doing shots with me. We got drunk and relaxed our night away. To be honest I don't remember parts of the night, so I think we over did it JUST a bit.. But the next morning I woke up groggy and I look over to Didi passed out too.

Tonight Ashley and Didi fulfilled their promise and brought over enchilada's along with their PS3 and rented two movies. We only ended up watching one, Limitless, and then they wanted to call it a night. I thought about going out, but ended up chilling at my house with my pups.

Those were the highlights of my weeks that I can recall... Lots of fun with friends. If I missed a moment, please let me know.
I'll end it with some of these: My sponsors! Not really, but people you should know.
Andre Magnum - Ken Magnum's son who is living in China and studying Kung Fu with the Shaolin Monks.
Damien Walter - That'd be pretty badass to do what he does.
Isaac Kauwe - The life and times of this good sir.
They are all Captains in my book.
and then this trailer.

~Just a thought
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

November Writings

There is but one escape,
And one seat less than
wanted on the craft.
I make sure she's strapped in.

She begs me not to leave her.
I assure her that I must.
Hoping to give comfort,
I tap just above her left breast and wink.

I hit the craft on its side
signaling the pilot to leave
I only watch for a minute
then turn around, thankful she is safe.

There is only a moment of silence
between the craft going away
And the shake of the earth.
They were coming.

The damsel was rescued,
And the town was saved.
The beast was slain,
And opression was purged

The heroes work is almost complete.
Death is what now awaits me.
For to give it all would be a gift.
And I go without fear.